The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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