I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
3 2 1 whiskey
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
