k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
