Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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