I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
