We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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