I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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