I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
