I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Green mimosas i think yes
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
