But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
