i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
