It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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