I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize