Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
