Im at strip club and am horny
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
