Sacagawea was the original milf.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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