Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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