All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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