Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
