don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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