just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize