I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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