when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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