but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
