Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
