Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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