In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
me + whiskey = a bad person
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
