How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the day after is always just damage control
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
