at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
