we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
