I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
