i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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