i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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