I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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