Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
