now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
