We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
