yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
