"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
