Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize