Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
