So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
