I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
