I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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