I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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