Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
