She announced her abortion via fbk
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize