i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
