He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
