I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
