Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
