But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
