Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
do herpes really smell.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize