i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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