happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
