she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
