haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
