wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My dick has a subreddit
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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