Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize