hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she told me i tasted like america
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
