things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize