He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
