So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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