my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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